Lost cause

Well. Okay. I have lost my mind. I was over at dooce just now checking out the goings on and pictures and now I am sitting here crying (it was the bottom picture that did it). I know, I know. I have 3 kids that drive me crazy. And I love each and every one of them. And no, I really don't want more. Well, I do in a way. It saddens me that I don't have that choice any more. That I won't ever be able to go through the whole process the way it should be done, with a loving partner and father there. That I won't ever experience the wonders of a new baby again. That I will miss out on some great guys because they haven't experienced that and can't with me so they will do it with someone else. I debated long and hard about having a hysterectomy. And I know it was the thing to do, but still... I have my moments.