Great Googly Moogly

Go to Google.
Type in weapons of mass destruction.
Click the "I'm feeling lucky" button.
Laugh your fucking ass off.

The mind boggles

Pot, kettle. I know you've met.
While Dick was in New York tooting G Dub's horn in the face of hundreds of thousands of protesters G Dub "was in West Virginia, accusing Democratic rival Sen. John Kerry of changing his stand on coal industry issues that are vital to the state's economy. 'Be careful of somebody whose position shifts in the wind', he said."
I don't know why I am still constantly blown away by the sheer HYPOCRISY.

Wow, this sucks.

I haven't thought of her in a while as "Gloria" isn't a song I hear often. Just goes to show, if you have a headache for two weeks straight? Get it checked out.

Yet more stuff you never wanted to know

I'm bored and I'm lazy.
I've seen this all over the place but most recently at kalisha's.

Your name spelled backwards.
anitsirc

Where were your parents born?
Dad – Olney, Texas; Mom – Graham, Texas

What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer?
Such Great Heights - Iron and Wine

What’s your favorite restaurant?
All the restaurants around here pretty much suck. I'd have to say the one's I like best are Texas Moon, Bogart's Deli (they have the best Monte Cristos) and El Gordo's.

Last time you swam in a pool?
Friday afternoon.

Have you ever been in a school play?
In the 5th grade. I was the teacher in Peanuts.

How many kids do you want?
None, thanks. Oh, too late. Damn.

Type of music you dislike most?
Crap. I mean rap.

Are you registered to vote?
Yes.

Do you have cable?
Nope.

Have you ever ridden on a moped?
Motorcycles of all kinds and four-wheelers but no moped. But I'd like to have a Vespa.

Ever prank call anybody?
Many times.

Ever get a parking ticket?
No. My boyfriend-at-the-time got one in my car after parking where I told him not to. Come to think of it, that has happened twice with two different guys. They never listen, do they?

Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving?
Hayull no.

Farthest place you ever traveled.
Nevada or Mississippi, whichever is the farthest.

Do you have a garden?
Not at the time. That's another reason I would love to have a house.

What’s your favorite comic strip?
Tumbleweeds

Do you really know all the words to your national anthem?
I can sing along with it, but if I had to come up with the words on my own I'd not get too far.

Bath or Shower, morning or night?
Shower in the am, bath at night.

Best movie you’ve seen in the past month?
I haven't seen that many this month. 13 going on 30 was cute.

Favorite pizza topping?
Shrimp, sun-dried tomato and mushroom with white sauce from Pizza Roma in New Orleans. I like most pizza, but that is the best.

Chips or popcorn?
Both, please.

What color lipstick do you usually wear?
Black Honey by Clinique or Cover Girl's lipslicks in hipster or Neutrogena Moisture Shine gloss in Dizzy.

Have you ever smoked peanut shells?
Uhh...not that I am aware of.

Have you ever been in a beauty pageant?
Another hayull no.

Orange Juice or apple?
Orange.

Who was the last person you went out to dinner with and where did you dine?
My kids at Mickey D's. woo

Favorite type chocolate bar?
The ones with chocolate.

When was the last time you voted at the polls?
I've never been compelled to vote. Until now.

Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
Last month when I was back home. Dang, I miss having access to those.

Have you ever won a trophy?
Nope. Never participated in anything to win one.

Are you a good cook?
Very.

Do you know how to pump your own gas?
Yep.

Ever order an article from an infomercial?
Nope.

Sprite or 7-up?
Neither. I prefer Hansen's Natural Mandarin Lime.

Have you ever had to wear a uniform to work?
Unfortunately, yes. That never lasted long. And won't happen again.

Last thing you bought at a pharmacy?
Some Burt's Bees stuff.

Ever throw up in public?
Sadly, yes.

Would you prefer being a millionaire or find true love?
At this point, I'll take the money.

Do you believe in love at first sight?
Not really, no. Lust, yeah.

Ever call a 1-900 number?
Nope.

Can ex’s be friends?
I've never found that to be possible. Friendly, yes. Actual friendship, no.

Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?
Thankfully, it's been a while since I've had to visit anyone. So long I am not real sure who it was. Probably my grandmother.

Did you have a lot of hair when you were a baby?
Nope.

What message is on your answering machine?
My voicemail has something along the lines of "Hi, we can't come to the phone right now. Please leave your name, number and a brief message and we'll get back to you".

What’s your all time favorite Saturday Night Live Character?
Gosh. Hard choice. Right up there is the "Wild & Crazy" Festrunk Brothers. Ed Grimmly. Roseanna Roseanna Danna. Most of the old ones.

What was the name of your first pet?
The first pet that I got to pick out all on my own was a calico cat I got at the bait store that I named Callie.

What is in your purse?
Wallet, glasses case, keys, gum, Ice Breakers Liquid Ice, small cosmetic case with my lipsticks and Burt's Bees lip balm and eye drops, Purell hand sanitizer, a lighter, a pen, a mix cd, my phone and electric bill so I can pay them Monday.

Favorite thing to do before bedtime?
Sex if available. Read otherwise.

What is one thing you are grateful for today?
Safety fences at dirt race tracks. Flying tires are quite hazardous.

Search me

Who the heck does a search for "gallbladder attack bare feet"?
What do the two have to do with one another?
And why the heck am I #2 for this interesting combo?

Space-saving watermelon

Via not martha

30-Second Bunnies Theatre 

Right on!

I just discovered this journal today and so far I am hooked. This entry made me say "HAYULL YEAH!" about 50 times.

It's official, I'm old

This evening at the grocery store, after the teenage carry-out boy put my groceries in the trunk he said to me "Take it easy, ma'am". Ok, first of all... what the hell ever happened to "Thank you, Have a nice day, Come again" and all that polite stuff they are supposed to say?? Second, "Take it easy, ma'am"??? Why throw the polite ma'am on there with the casual "take it easy"?? Ohhh, and C.) What would he have thought if I had replied with "I'll take it any way I can get it"?? ha! That would teach him. Or not. I can't believe the sheer disrespect of people now. Not only in little ways like please and thank you but in big ways. I swear some days it makes me not want to leave the house. I was brought up better than that and I used to turn the other cheek so to speak when people were rude, but nowdays I find myself snapping back before I can stop the words coming out of my mouth. Then I feel bad. I wonder if those other people ever do? I doubt it. They probably either don't know any better or don't care. I had to go to the dreaded WalMart before the grocery store to pick up school supplies (that their father was supposed to already have bought, thanks for leaving it to the night before school starts to tell me you didn't get them, asshole) and it was a madhouse. All the rude people were out. One woman in particular really pissed me off when I came around the end of an aisle and she was parked in the middle of the aisle I turned on and then had the nerve to tell me that I needed to move, she needed out. I had already started backing up to let her out when she said that and I just stopped. I looked at her and said "I *was* trying" and gave her the "look". You know the one, "I was trying but you opened your big fat mouth and now you can forget me moving, find another damned way out, you hag". We had a stand-off for a minute and she finally turned her cart another way. Normally, I wouldn't dream of being so rude, but I have totally had it with letting people get away with that shit. I think grocery store aisles are like the highway, keep your ass to the right, pass courteously, don't leave your car sitting in the middle of the road unattended and by god don't tailgate me. It is bad enough that people run all willy-nilly in the stores but then when they have the gall to be rude on top of it, that tears it. Like I said, some days I really don't want to leave the house and go out into the great stupid masses. They're dragging me down with them! I must be better than that!

Crabby

Fun meme stuff. I saw this at Joelle's who found it at Stacy's who found it here .
The idea is to strike out the stuff that doesn't apply to me. Interesting how many of them do.

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood.(maybe to some but I don't think I am) Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. (does this mean homely ugly or homely likes to be home??) Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

10 steps to a perfect manicure (or pedicure)

Supplies: Bowl of warm water with one squirt liquid hand soap, orangewood stick or stick with plastic tipped cuticle pusher, hand towel, emory board, 3 or 4-way buffer, Q-tips, polish remover, base coat (Stickey by Creative or similar), polish of your choice, top coat, UV nail dryer.

1. Soak fingertips in bowl of warm, soapy water for 3 or 4 minutes.
2. Remove from water and using orangewood stick or cuticle pusher, gently push cuticles back. Rinse. Dry with hand towel, pushing cuticles back with towel.
3. File edges of nails with emory board, going in one direction. Don’t saw back and forth as it tears the nail.
4. Buff nails using 3 or 4-way buffer, following steps numbered on buffer.
5. Rinse hands to remove residue. Dry thoroughly.
6. Dip Q-tip in polish remover and rub over each nail.
7. Apply thin layer of base coat. Let set one minute.
8. Apply two thin coats polish, waiting one minute between coats.
9. Apply thin layer of top coat.
10. Place hands under UV dryer for several minutes until set.
    

Useful tips: Store nail polish in refrigerator. Remove and let reach room temperature before using. Roll polish bottle between your palms, never shake it. Don’t polish your nails under an a/c vent or fan. Don’t change your polish more than once a week or your nails will dry out.

Keep in mind this deals with the nails only. There are many more extras that you can do to keep your hands and feet looking great. Lotion is a must. A foot scrub or sloughing lotion massaged onto feet keeps them smooth. Pumice stones aren't a good idea as they really only make the skin tougher.

This post was inspired by a post over on livejournal on the hip_domestics forum. I realized that many people don't know the proper steps to follow for a professional manicure.