I've been on the verge of getting my mad on for a while now. Well, no longer. I am in a hella bad mood. I'm tired. I don't feel the greatest. I'm broke. There are people who suck. I am sexually frustrated. You name it. I'm sick of things not going the way they are supposed to. I am sick of people not doing the things they are supposed to. The next governmental road block I come across, I am probably going to blow up the goddamn building. Or assassinate Gee Dubya. (yeah, now the feebs and all those other governmental pantywaists will probably be watching me, fuck 'em)
After driving all over hell and half of Texas Friday and finally finding a reasonably priced washer and dryer (and of course not at the same place) I couldn't get the sonofabitches home. Well, they are home now. And the fucking washing machine doesn't work. So, now I have to see if the guy who sold it to me is going to stand behind his guarantee that it worked or if I am going to have to go and yank his asshole over his head. Does the dryer work? I don't have a clue. The plug-in is the wrong fucking kind and the maintenance man is out until God knows when.
I had an appointment this morning at yet another agency (yes, governmental agency, the fuckers) and after sitting there waiting for over an hour (with a cranky 2 year old) I was finally able to provide them with all 97 pages of the information they required. So, of course, I am expecting to hear back from them with an approval. Is that what they called me with this afternoon? Fucking hell no. I now have to go BACK and apply with the other stupid fucking State agency that denied me in the first place and then take the denial back to THEM before they will approve me. As if the first denial wasn't enough? No, now I have to repeat the entire fucking process, and WAIT for God only knows how many more months before I can get the help I need to go to the Dr. to find out about the goddamned abdominal mass I have. That's lovely. Thanks, y'all. I hope it's not fucking cancer and y'all are just dicking me around and letting it overtake my body before you help me so then you won't have to pay out as much because I'll be DEAD.
Some days I wonder if that isn't better. (Oh, y'all didn't know I have had my lovely psychotic breaks and flirtations with suicide? yeah) At least that way my kids would have money for the things they need. If their fucking sperm donors would step up and be real men I wouldn't have to worry about that. That's what I get for messing with not-real men. And still I'm too fucking nice and don't nail their asses to the wall. Why is that? Well, I don't know, but I tell you, my ex-husband just used his last get out of shit free card. He has a brandgoddamned new truck and I get shit for child support and he couldn't help me get my washer and dryer home. And we won't even get off on the subject of Brad. Useless fucker. He should have to have a mandatory frontal lobotomy. Yeah, I'm just gonna touch on all the things that piss me off. Why not? It's my fucking rant. (and yeah I'm gonna use that word alot, if you don't like it, don't read it) Fucking men piss me the hell off. They really do. That was one major reason for the whole celibacy thing. But I blew that one all to hell, didn't I? Not that I regret it for one second. I'm just pissed off right now so everything is fair game. Those who know me know that I may rant and rave and throw things but don't take it personally, eh? Well, sometimes it's personal. If I'm spouting off at the mouth it's a pretty fair indication that it's not too personal. It's when I don't talk that you should wonder. I'm kind of passive-aggressive that way. And when I'm mad everything pisses me off. (You know the other night when you asked if I was mad? And I said irritated maybe, but not mad? Well, the next time I'll be mad. It's happened four times. I can excuse a few, but when it becomes a habit it pisses me off. Oh, who am I kidding... I wouldn't be pissed with you. Hurt and irritated maybe. I hate waiting for someone who isn't going to show up. It makes me feel like I don't matter enough to a) show up b) call and say you aren't going to show up. And why am I saying this here? Sorry, got carried away.) Now I've lost track of where I was. Oh yeah. Everything pisses me off. I seriously need a break. I've dealt with this shit for far too long and haven't had any real time for just me, no kids around. And it's beginning to show. But, there's that whole no money, nowhere to go thing. It's a circle jerk. So, while a weekend away would be nice I don't guess I'll be getting a break anytime soon. Maybe some dirty, nasty, hot, sweaty, pisstheneighborsoff, rough sex? Can I get that? Because I'd take that, too.