There's no place like home

For sure. I lived in one place for most of my life. I was born there, raised there, and swore I'd always get out of there. I've moved away 4 times, and for some reason or another I always ended up getting sucked back there. This time I've sworn I'd rather live on the street in a cardboard box than move back there again. So, why is it today I wish that I was back there? Ahh.. homesickness. I think that mostly it is that I am not happy where I am right now. Oh sure, I have a nice apt. and live in a decent enough town. But, it isn't going for me right now. I have not been able to find a job, and I have not been able to find any friends. I do not have any family in this town (save my ex husband and that doesn't really count). I'm lonely. I want somewhere that I can go visit if I am tired of my place. I want friends who drop by and hang out. I want my family close so that when I need them, or they need me, it's not an hour drive to get there. I want to live back in the country where it is peaceful and there are no neighbors and my kids can go outside and play and I don't have to watch them like a hawk. I could go on and on with the good stuff, but then I'd have to start listing the bad stuff. Not that I don't have bad stuff here. My problem isn't all situational. The usually rational adult me knows that. The scared little girl (who I never admit is still there) me doesn't care, she just wants to go home.