Friday, January 23, 2004
Postcards from the Barditch
In my previous post, I made a statement that isn't entirely true. I do have friends. Not many, but I do. I have become very selective about those who I surround myself with, to the point that I am not surrounded. So, thank you to those friends for being the kind of people who I can let in. I have been doing some thinking today. And some talking. One of my friends will not simply let me "be". He doesn't do it on purpose. (Well, sometimes he does.) He is the kind of person who makes me want to be a better me. Some of y'all know that trying to get me to open up about the really relevant stuff is like trying to do dentistry on a bear. I have become a represser and suppresser in the interest of self-preservation, because I have simply become too tired for all of the angst and self-discovery and the gettinupoffofmyassanddoinsomethinaboutitall. As I was sayin to him, I am at another one of those crossroads you inevitably come to in life. But, due to the afore mentioned tiredness, I have just been sitting here park. I am tired of going down the wrong road and having to either backtrack or detour. I am tired of going along, minding my own business, and being broad-sided. I am tired of coming to the construction, the traffic jams, and the idiot motorists who litter life's highway. Trite analogy, but it's all I can come up with at the moment. I have been shifting from park to neutral here lately, trying to get revved up to go somewhere. I know I need to. I keep running across people and words who make me think of who I could and should be. This morning over at Jett's, this post made me sit and ponder for a bit, and light a little fire of inspiration in my clogged up carburetor. And from there, I was led to this here post. That sums up a lot of my feelings. She says it much better than I can at the moment. I need a vacation, y'all. And I need that sit-down lunch we been talkin about, Jay Dee Gee. And I need to get in gear.