It's my pity party and I'll cry if I want to

Warning: whining and really bad allegory ahead.


I’ve fallen in a hole. It’s not the first time. It won’t be the last. But I’m finding it harder and harder to pick myself up, brush myself off and climb my way out of the hole. Right now, I think I’ll just lay here for a while. Will I get buried under the inevitable stuff that will fall in the hole after me? Maybe. I’m just too tired of it all to care. It would be nice if once, just once, someone would lend a helping hand to get me back up again, rather than pushing me back down in. Hell, just sit in the damned hole beside me. Just be there.
Someone posted a poem that I loved. I said it could have been written for me were I the type to inspire poetry. He replied with she probably felt the same way. I guess sometimes we get so stuck in our own selves that we forget we aren’t the only ones to ever feel that way. I miss the old me sometimes. I’m sick of this bitter, cynical, tired, broken down, lonely, hopeless person I’ve become. I don’t blame anyone for not wanting to be with me. But again, just once, I want someone to love me despite all my problems, hang-ups and baggage. Hell, despite all THEIR problems, hang-ups and baggage. Sometimes I think I ask too much or have unrealistic expectations. Or maybe I’m just expecting it from the wrong people. I don’t know. I just know that right now, I’m the wrong person.

MUST.HAVE.THIS. 

Weird Science

We're out of ketchup. I have to have ketchup and mustard to eat my corny dogs. I didn't realize this fact until after I had already cooked them. Alas, I made a happy discovery. Ranch dressing and mustard is really good.

Loose Ends

I thought this was kind of cool.

Choose a band/artist and answer ONLY IN SONG TITLES by that band

artist/band: The Boss

Are you male or female: Give The Girl A Kiss

Describe yourself: Secret Garden

How do some people feel about you: My Best Was Never Good Enough

How do you feel about yourself: Tougher Than The Rest

Describe your ex girlfriend/boyfriend: Nothing Man

Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: Cautious Man, Dancing In The Dark, Hungry Heart

Describe where you want to be: Better Days

Describe what you want to be: Happy

Describe how you live: Leap of Faith

Describe how you love: My Love Will Not Let You Down

Share a few words of wisdom: Take 'Em As They Come

Valentine

Not a red rose or a satin heart.

I give you an onion.
It is a moon wrapped in brown paper.
It promises light
like the careful undressing of love.

Here.
It will blind you with tears
like a lover.
It will make your reflection
a wobbling photo of grief.

I am trying to be truthful.

Not a cute card or a kissogram.

I give you an onion.
Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips,
possessive and faithful
as we are,
for as long as we are.

Take it.
Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding-ring,
if you like.

Lethal.
Its scent will cling to your fingers,
cling to your knife.

-Carol Ann Duffy

Because Eric said so

Three Names You Go By: Cristina, Nina, Nina Faye

Three Screennames You Have: harleydrmz, wednesdayschild1971, torquejunkie4life

Three Things You Like About Yourself: I'm smart, funny and resourseful

Three Things You Dislike About Yourself: my physical limitations, my ass and my hair

Three Parts of Your Heritage: English, Scottish, German

Three Things That Scare You: dying alone, my house burning down, most drivers

Three of Your Everyday Essentials: air, water, food

Three Things You Are Wearing Right Now: green t-shirt, gray sweats, white socks

Three of Your Favorite Bands/Artists (at the moment): Lucinda Williams, Jack White, Damien Rice

Three of Your Favorite Songs at Present: The Blower's Daughter - Damien Rice, Portland Oregon - Loretta Lynn and Jack White, Many Waters - Julie Lee

Three New Things You Want to Try in the Next 12 Months: Johnny Carino's, not spend Valentine's Day alone, jasmine pearl tea

Three Things You Want in a Relationship (love is a given): monogamy, trust, passion

Three Physical Things About the Opposite Sex (or same) That Appeal to You: ginger hair, blue eyes, great hands

Three Things You Just Can’t Do: the splits, algebra, lick my elbow

Three of Your Favorite Hobbies: reading, watching movies, being crafty

Three Things You Want to do Really Badly Right Now: hug John, kiss John, talk to John

Three Careers You’re Considering: Master of the Universe, Keeper of the Key, Her Royal Majesty

Three Places You Want to Go on Vacation: Great Britain, New Zealand the Eastern coast

Three Kids’ Names: Girls: Boys: My kids are named, not having anymore, name your own

Three Things You Want to Do Before You Die: live fast, love hard and leave a beautiful memory

Three People You Want to Take this Quiz: Whatever 3 people who happen to read my blog who want to do it

Shake it like a security blanket

I just saw one of the funniest things ever. Because he linked it so much better, go here to see what I'm talkin bout.

You never know what will be coming down

I have to admit, I love Brit pop. I've loved Duran Duran since the first time I ever heard them way back when. On the heels of hearing about their sad news, former bass guitarist Wes Wehmiller dying at the age of 33, I heard their newest U.S. single released What Happens Tomorrow. I freely admit to being hugely pessimistic, cynical and yes, bitter at times. But today as I was sitting in the parking lot waiting to pick my kids up from school thinking about the $600 worth of bills I have to pay and the $350 I have to pay it with, lamenting the probable loss of what could have been a great relationship and freaking out about life in general that song came on. Thank you, Duran Duran, for reminding me that it'll be alright again.

Say Anything

I saw this at Such a Pretty Face and like her, I liked the idea of getting recommendations. So please recommend to me:

1. A movie
2. A book
3. A musical artist, song or album

AND

Ask me three questions, anything you want to know. I, of course, reserve the right to ignore any questions I don't really want to answer.

AND

Copy and paste this into your blog, if you have one.

Today was fun. I got to sit through a 2 hour divorce and parenting class. And I get to sit through another one next week. Now, I've been divorced for almost 7 years now, I think we've got it figured out by now. But, the State of Texas feels differently and it's mandated that anyone who has any kind of divorce or child custody case that comes through the court system is required to attend them. The case that we have is just a name change. I agree that it's a good idea, but I think they should look at the individual cases and decide then which ones have to go to the classes. I guess it's just easier to make it mandatory for everyone. Oh well, it gets me out of the house for 2 hours! heh
I bought a new dining table and the guy was supposed to deliver it today, but he didn't. I was kind of torqued. It's getting old not having a dining table.
I've been wanting some Chicken Tortilla Soup for a while, but couldn't find a recipe that I haven't already tried that I wanted to try. All of the ones I've tried haven't been what I wanted. My Mom told me about my sister-in-law's version, so I called up and got the recipe from my brother. I didn't like the sound of what all she put in hers. I love the classic version with basically just chicken, broth, tomatoes and seasonings but with the kids I try to add a little more nutrition. My SIL's version had too much stuff in it, so I started with the basic version, added some of hers and added some touches of my own. I have to say it's pretty much perfection. Anything that can be done all in one pot and cover all the food group bases is good with me.

Nina’s Chicken Tortilla Soup

1 really big pot
4 or 5 chicken boobies
2 quarts water
Parsley (I use about 2 tsps. of dried)
1 large onion, diced small
2 or 3 tsps. seasoned salt (I use Tony Chachere’s Original Creole)
2 chicken bouillion cubes

Bring the water and seasonings to a boil, add the chicken, lower heat and simmer 45 minutes. Take the chicken out, let it cool and then shred it. (I use two forks. If you cook it right, it should basically fall apart by itself.) Put the chicken back in the pot.


Now you’re going to need:

2 cans Rotel tomatoes (I use the mild version, if you like it spicier knock yourself out)
1 can whole kernel corn, drained
1 can black beans, drained and rinsed
1 can pinto beans, drained and rinsed
Cilantro (I use dried, about 1 or 2 tsps., depending on how much you like cilantro)
1 big tsp. cumin
1 lime
salt, pepper and garlic to taste

Dump all of that in the pot. Well, you might want to slice the lime in half and squeeze it in, works better that way. Simmer it all for a while to let the flavors receive.

Serve with tortilla chips (crush them up in the bowl) and shredded white cheese. I use Queso Quesadilla and Monterey Jack from Mexico. You can find those in the Mexican section of most grocery stores (well, in Texas you can), or you can just use whatever Jack you can find.

Perfect for this kind of weather! Make it! Enjoy it! (Come eat some of mine, there's plenty!)