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Crafty Ninja

It lives

Here lately I've still been in the mood to just read other peoples' journals and stay away from mine. I haven't had many nice things to say lately. The kids have been making me insane. So, there has been a regime change here and they are grounded for the next 3 weeks. I know, sounds harsh, but they have been hellions including at school and so far nothing has got their attention. This will. They will be grounded for 3 weeks and for every infraction there are days added to their "sentence". They'll get the idea or they are in for a long and boring summer sitting in their rooms. But hey, it'll be quiet around here! I'm highly pissed off at my ex due to his not having sent my child support yet. Even after I called him and informed him that we are out of everything and it's been a month and a half. He just sends it whenever he wants to and expects that to be okay. I guess I should be thankful that he sends it, but still. He's not the one sitting here with 2 diapers, very little toilet paper, etc etc.
Eric is as usual the bomb-diggety! He got me Season One of Samurai Jack on DVD! How cool is that?? But then again he's always cool. *does the happy dance* And now I am off to bed. Bono's nachos, y'all.

In lieu of actual content...

It's quiz night!

"Which American City Are You?"

Seattle
Your dark exterior masks a caffeine driven activism. You'll take up a cause and you'll get ugly to advance it.

"Which prop from 'American Pie' are you?"

Warm Apple Pie
You are the warm apple pie! It may seem like a contradiction but you are true-blue Americana and the object of every freudian fantasy.

"What swear word are you?"
You Are Fuck!
Go fuck yourself.

"What color are you?"
blue
You are a friendly, trustworthy person. Friends know they can depend on you. Your inner favorite color is blue.

"Which Random Irish Gaelic Phrase Are You? "

Ta mo bhriste tri thine
Ta mo bhriste tri thine - 'My trousers are on fire.'You're a few bricks short of a load, aren't you? You're probably not allowed to use sharp objects and you should be locked in a rubber room. With Rubber rats. Rubber rats? I hate rubber rats. They drive me crazy. Crazy? I was crazy once. They put me in a rubber room. With rubber rats. Rubber rats? I hate rubber rats...

spiffy!

Wow, so blogger has made some big changes! We have lots of new stuff to play with so I gave the site a makeover tonight. What do ya think? I like. So, y'all use those comments already! The older posts won't have commenting but from here on out there will be comments enabled so give me some feedback now and again. I am not here just to hear myself type. Well, okay, I am but .. just put your 2 cents worth in anyway!

interestin'

You Are a Plain Ole Cup of Joe But don't think plain - instead think, uncomplicated You're a low maintenance kind of girl... who can hang with the guys Down to earth, easy going, and fun! Yup, that's you: the friend everyone invites. And your dependable too. Both for a laugh and a sympathetic ear. What Kind Of Coffee Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Pay no attention to the blogger behind the curtain

Well, here we are again, and it's been a week since my last update. Blame Eric. (well, hey, so long as it isn't me! :p )
So, let's see. Nothing exciting to report. Haven't done anything other than the usual. We've watched some good movies. Ate some good food. Had some good.... uhm.. fun. Eric and I went to the end of year BBQ thingy for the Computer Science Math Geek depts the other night and it was pretty fun. He's like a scholar and stuff! I lurve geeks.
I broke my toe. That was fun.
The weight loss thing isn't going so quick. I think I'm at 165 now which is where I THOUGHT I was before. So, I'm basically back where I should have started. NOW it's 20 pounds. Or else I am not going to be seen in swimwear. Hayull no. I really need to get back to the Pilates thing every day. Too bad I'm a lazy wench. And a hungry one. Sex makes me hungry. Shouldn't the two cancel each other out? It's exercise. Right? Hmph.
I changed my links over there to the right, for those of you who actually pay attention to such things. I put it all on blogrolling so that it's not so big of a pain in the butt to update.
I had an invite today to join a pretty cool livejournal community. Go over to fallsgeeks and check it out. Of course, unless you're from Wichita Falls, it's not going to interest you a whole lot.
Well, what are you waiting for? Go! Move along. Nothing to see here.

Sunday Brunch

New meme thing since I am far too lazy for any actual content.

Do It Yourself
Would you be able to do these things yourself or have someone do it for you?

1. Fix a flat tire.
2. Fix a tear or make alterations to clothing.
3. Unclog a severely plugged up sink or toilet.
4. Change the oil in your car.
5. Put together an unassembled toy or piece of furniture out of the box.

Yes to all of the above. And then some. My family has made sure to teach me and my brothers along the way to be completely self-sufficient. And I can do anything they can do (and I can do it better nah na nanny boo boo). Well, some of it. heh But, yes, there really isn't much that I can't do for myself except for some of the highly technical/brute strength stuff. I haven't had anyone around to take care of that kind of stuff for the most part so it is nice to be able to rely on myself. It is/would be nice to have someone around to take care of the things I can't. Fortunately, there are people I can call on for the stuff I can't take care of, but it is a rare occasion that I have to. I really feel sorry for these people who aren't able to take care of the day to day stuff. And women who act as if they aren't capable of doing such things annoy me to no end. Yeah, it would be nice to have someone to take care of everything for us, but it isn't realistic for some of us. A good relationship, in my opinion, blends each persons talents and they contribute what they are skilled at, helping each other and maybe learning something along the way.

Wait watchers

So, I have been really bad about updating lately. There's just been other things I'd prefer to be doing for a change, rather than lack of anything to say. I have plenty to say, but most of it I am hoarding, and am going to selfishly keep it all to myself so that I may take it out in private and hold it in my hand and admire it as a child might a secret treasure.
But, I do have a niggling little problem. And since I am unable to hold myself accountable, I am going to call upon you, dear readers and friends, to do that for me. Accountability sucks at times, no? Especially when you have an extreme lack of self-control and an overwhelming junk food habit. Yes, that is what this is all about. I still have 20 pounds to go. No, 45 wasn't enough! 20 more, I say! At least. I would like to be able to wear a swimsuit this summer and not look as if I were a sausage stuffed into its casing. So, help a sister out here. I am going to be posting my weight here now, and then I will follow up once a week. Feel free to cast aspersions and throw tomatoes if the numbers have not decreased. (rotten tomatoes only please, lest I eat them). Today's grand total is... are you ready for this? Ok. Here goes. This is harder than I thought it would be. Right. I weigh... and keep in mind that I usually weigh in the morning so that it is less and it is now 2:30 and I have had food and all that and oh okay I'll quit dithering now. I weigh 173??? Sheee-it. A few days ago it was only 163. Maybe we should try that again in the morning. Anyways. That's what the scale says as of 2:33 pm on April 20, 2004. That's worse than I thought because that in essence means I need to get back down to 163 and then lose 20 pounds. So... 30 it is. Ugh.

Hidy hidy hidy hi, hidy hidy hidy ho

Today was really craptacular

I got out of bed just before breakfast because the smell of cooking bacon woke me up.

I feel sad, because Sarah and Britney are complete bitches. They told everyone I have an STD, just because I slept with both of their boyfriends on Saturday night.

I'm so happy. I just found out that I have been accepted into Harvard. And Yale. I don't know which to choose... oh, why is life so hard sometimes?

Last night I had to shave my entire body. Apparently, the lice that I caught from Amanda's friend are really hard to get rid of. I look quite strange with no hair and eyebrows. I'd post pictures, but my webcam is broken.

I want to tell the world to get fucked.

I am updating this journal for the first time in ages, because I've been in prison.

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's ten thousand photographs of my cat.

I want to say thanks to the world for absolutely fucking nothing! You all suck. I feel so alone, no one ever reads this journal, or even comments to let me know that I'm not suffering alone. It's cold here, and I want to die, but I cannot figure out how many of you to take with me when I go.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said I have a terrible skin disease which prevents me from coming into contact with other human beings. And bipolar disorder.

You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you you're a moron.

That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with some naked photos of myself. (Not safe for work - teehee).


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Happy Good Friday!

The Friday Five isn't relevant today, but I saw this meme at jewdez and The Go Fish and liked it better.


Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4. Write down what it says:
"Worth it, though!" She stroked my face like she was petting a kitten. "It's a baby's bottom, is your face."

Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?
The entertainment center

What is the last thing you watched on TV?
A PBS documentary about a fish

With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
The TV, my kids playing outside, windchimes

When did you last step outside?
About 30 minutes ago

Before you came to this website, what did you look at?
My email

What are you wearing?
Shortie pajamas with bugs on them

Did you dream last night?
Not that I remember

When did you last laugh?
Last night

What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Paint

Seen anything weird lately?
Not weird enough for me to remember offhand

What do you think of this quiz?
Kind of random, random is good

What is the last movie you saw?
The Ring

If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?
A car

Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I have psychic powers.

If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Every person would have a good home, a decent car and no worries about food or bills or lack of necessities. And every person in the world would be provided healthcare.

Do you like to dance?
Yep
George Bush is he a power-crazy nut case or someone who is finally doing something that has needed to be done for years?
I don't think he is either.

Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
If it had been a girl, it would have been Sophia something.

Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Don't have to imagine. His name is Jaron.

Would you ever consider living abroad?
I consider it all the time, but it is more of a dream at the moment.

Sweet Fancy Moses

I love Clem Snide's new song!!! Wow. I am hooked. I already loved them, but this song rocks my socks off. Scroll down to where it says Listen to All Green or whatever it says. Or just click here. These guys make my ears so happy!

mOnkey see, monkey do

Well, I am completely and totally unoriginal and still have nothing of interest to say so I will post this amusing little 9 layer thingy for non-consumption.

LAYER ONE:
-- Name: Cristina
-- Birth date: July 14, 1971
-- Birthplace: Graham, Texas
-- Current Location: Wichita Falls, Texas
-- Eye Color: blue-grey
-- Hair Color: dark brown
-- Height: 5'7"
-- Righty or Lefty: righty tighty
-- Zodiac Sign: Cancer, can't you tell... since I'm so crabby?

LAYER TWO:
-- Your heritage: Scots, German, Irish, English, some Native American and who knows what else is in the woodpile.
-- The shoes you wore today: Happy Bunny flip-flops
-- Your weakness: Threesomes with Ben & Jerry, books, and shiny magazines.
-- Your fears: Senility (dementia, Alzheimer's), horrible disfiguring accident, knowing I am dying, being alone for the rest of my life.
-- Your perfect pizza: Ahh Pizza Roma shrimp, mushroom and sun-dried tomato with white sauce.
-- Goal you'd like to achieve: To just keep on keepin' on

LAYER THREE:
-- Your most overused phrase on AIM: a'ight, ahhh, and ahahahahahaha
-- Your first waking thoughts: Fucking alarm clock. Yeah, you too, you bastard phone.
-- Your best physical feature: I'm told my eyes and my ass. I dunno.
-- Your most missed memory: I don't miss my memories, I still have them all. Well, the ones I want to remember.

LAYER FOUR:
-- Pepsi or Coke: Dr. Pepper
-- McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King if I really had to choose.
-- Single or group dates: Either one, but I'd prefer single.
-- Adidas or Nike: New Balance
-- Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
-- Chocolate or vanilla: Depends on what it is.
-- Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee or frappucchino

LAYER FIVE:
-- Smoke: Only when I'm on fire.
-- Cuss: Never. What are you, fucking nuts?
-- Sing: Badly.
-- Take a shower everyday: Generally. Sometimes twice a day. I rarely skip a day.
-- Do you think you've been in love: I wanna know what love is. I've been in versions of love.
-- Want to go to college: Not especially.
-- Liked high school: Not in the least. I hated school from about 4th grade on.
-- Want to get married: Yes.
-- Believe in yourself: No, I'm like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny.
-- Get motion sickness: Usually only in the back seat. Sometimes in the front, depending on who is driving.
-- Think you're attractive: I'd do me.
-- Think you're a health freak: Only in the sense that my health is freakish.
-- Get along with your parent(s): Yeah, I do now.
-- Like thunderstorms: That's a resounding YES!
-- Play an instrument: Only if the skin flute counts.

LAYER SIX: In the past month...
-- Drank alcohol: Nope.
-- Smoked: Yep.
-- Done a drug: Prescription ones.
-- Made Out: Yes.
-- Gone on a date: Nope.
-- Gone to the mall?: Nope.
-- Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: Nope (Not that they come in boxes. Unless you're talking the ones at the grocery store before they unpack and shelve them. Good God, no in that case.)
-- Eaten sushi: I wish!
-- Been on stage: No.
-- Been dumped: Not in the general sense of dumped, but yeah, I think so
-- Gone skating: Hell no, i don't want to break a hip!
-- Made homemade cookies: I'm not Betty Crocker.
-- Dyed your hair: I'm a recovering dye-aholic.
-- Stolen Anything: Not that I am aware of.

LAYER SEVEN: Ever...
-- Played a game that required removal of clothing: Yeah, several.
-- If so, was it mixed company: Yep.
-- Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Dude, where's my car?!?
-- Been caught "doing something": hehehe many times
-- Been called a tease: Once years and years ago but I wasn't.
-- Gotten beaten up: Sort of.
-- Shoplifted: Yeah, back in my way younger days.
-- Changed who you were to fit in: No, I never fit in anyway.

LAYER EIGHT:
-- Age you hope to be married: uhm.. 40? I'll just have to give up and become a crazy old cat lady if I'm not by then.
-- Numbers and Names of Children: 3. Jaron, Maddy, Willa.
-- Describe your Dream Wedding: Vegas, baby!
-- How do you want to die: In my sleep like my Grandpa. Not screaming like the passengers in his car. (heh NOT REALLY!)
-- Where you want to go to college: I don't.
-- What do you want to be when you grow up: I don't want to grow up.
-- What country would you most like to visit: Great Britian, New Zealand.

LAYER NINE:
-- Number of drugs taken illegally: So many I lost the ability to count.
-- Number of people I could trust with my life: I'd like to think there's a few, but I'm not a very trusting person.
-- Number of CDs that I own: Haven't a clue. Not many.
-- Number of piercings: 7. 3 in one ear, 4 in the other. Used to have my eyebrow pierced.
-- Number of tattoos: Two.
-- Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: I dunno, a few. More if you count the police blotter.
-- Number of scars on my body: 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13...hell.. too many to sit here and count. I'll run out of fingers and toes.
-- Number of things in my past that I regret: I don't live my life with regrets. I'd be mired in a quicksand of remorse.

Bad blogger! Bad!

I know, I know. I've been very neglectful here. But in my defense I was out of town for almost a week with no internet access. Otherwise, I just haven't had much to say. Well, I take that back. I've had plenty to say but y'all really don't want to hear me bitch and moan and whine, now do ya? Didn't think so. It's pretty much a broken record anyways. Kids driving me crazy, need a vacation (from them), preferably one involving a lot of sex (or just any sex anytime at all), my car sucks ass and is fallin' apart on me, I am broke already, etc, etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseum. So, unless any of y'all can do anything about any of that... well, don't be bitchin' cuz I'm not postin'.

The Friday Five

(Yeah, yeah, I backdated it. Shuddup.)

If you...

1. ...owned a restaurant, what kind of food would you serve?
Hmm... if I were doing the cooking? Homestyle definitely. Lots of soups and sandwiches and chili and stuff. I actually want a lunch counter/coffee bar/bookstore. And I had a great idea over the weekend. Why not have a laundromat with it all, too? Anyone want to venture into business with me? I think it would really work.

2. ...owned a small store, what kind of merchandise would you sell?
Books, definitely books. And maybe mixed media. And coffee and stuff. See above.

3. ...wrote a book, what genre would it be?
Chick Lit probably.

4. ...ran a school, what would you teach?
Oral Gratification

5. ...recorded an album, what kind of music would be on it?
Eek! Y'all definitely don't want me singing. Much less recording my singing. But if I could sing I'd want to be able to sing bluesy, torch music. Something sexy and soulful. Like Portishead maybe.

Elvis Costello - She

She may be the face I can't forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
Maybe my treasure or the price I have to pay
She may be the song that summer sings
May be the chill that autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day

She may be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a Heaven or a Hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
A smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem
Inside her shell....

She, who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so private and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She maybe the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows in the past
That I remember 'till the day I die

She maybe the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I care for through the rough and ready years

Me, I'll take the laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is
She....She
Oh, she....

Friday Five

1. What was the last song you heard?
Still Frame by Trapt

2. What were the last two movies you saw?
The Missing and Pieces of April

3. What were the last three things you purchased?
Weell, I went grocery shopping a few hours ago so a bunch of things were purchased there. Went and bought the kids some dress-up type rocks star clothes at the resale shops before that. And bought some gas before that.

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?
Hmmm.... win the lotto. Ha. I SHOULD clean house and clean off my dresser in my bedroom and clean the kids toy boxes out. But as far as NEED to? Nothing I can think of other than get laid. (Oh, oops, did I say that out loud?)

5. Who are the last five people you talked to?
Matt, my mom, my kids

Friday Five

What was...

1. ...your first grade teacher's name?
Nell Wheat

2. ...your favorite Saturday morning cartoon?
Hey, Hey, Hey... It's Fat Albert! And it wasn't a cartoon but I LOVED Captain Kangaroo.

3. ...the name of your very first best friend?
I had two. They were sisters. Amy and Karen

4. ...your favorite breakfast cereal?
Lucky Charms! Still is. They're magically delicious.

5. ...your favorite thing to do after school?
Watch "after school programs" and later on the Dukes of Hazzard or play outside

She's Always a Woman - Billy Joel

She can kill with a smile
She can wound with her eyes
And she can ruin your faith with her casual lies
And she only reveals what she wants you to see
She hides like a child
But she's always a woman to me

She can lead you to love
She can take you or leave you
She can ask for the truth
But she'll never believe
And she'll take what you give her as long as it's free
Yeah, she steals like a thief but she's always a woman to me

Oh, she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh, and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

And she'll promise you more
Than the Garden of Eden
Then she'll carelessly cut you
And laugh while you're bleedin'
But she'll bring out the best
And the worst you can be
Blame it all on yourself
Cause she's always a woman to me

Oh, she takes care of herself
She can wait if she wants
She's ahead of her time
Oh, and she never gives out
And she never gives in
She just changes her mind

She is frequently kind
And she's suddenly cruel
But she can do as she pleases
She's nobody's fool
And she can't be convicted
She's earned her degree
And the most she will do
Is throw shadows at you
But she's always a woman to me

Hoot.. Hoot..

Why is it that some of us are wired to be night people? And no matter how hard we try we can't reset our internal clock to daylight hours, no matter how necessary it is? As far back as I can remember, and that's pretty far, I've always been a night owl. As a little kid, I would have to go to bed early for school and whatnot and I can remember laying there sleepless for HOURS. And of course, come morning I wouldn't want to get up. Some mornings I would go into the bathroom and lock the door as if I were getting ready for school and I would lay towels on the floor and go back to sleep for as long as I could get away with. And in the summer and on weekends, we didn't have to go to bed (or if we were made to I never went to sleep) so I was always up. Over the years I have tried and tried to do the early to bed, early to rise thing. And I just can't get it to work for me. What makes me mad is people who think that you are lazy or crazy or whatever for being that way. To this day, my dad infuriates me because he just doesn't understand that not all people are like him. Anyways, here it is almost 6 am and I haven't been to bed yet. The last couple of weeks the insomnia thing has been really bad. It doesn't help that I hate my bed being empty all the time. How stupid is that? That and when I do lay down a million and one things go through my head and I can't get any peace. Maybe I need more coffee.